Poker in Guelph

I Love You, Dawn

2005-09-19T08:31:00.000-04:00

Have a good day, and wake me up around 3:30 so that we can spend some time together.
See you when I wake up baby doll, I love you

Chiptalk.net

2005-09-10T12:42:00.000-04:00

For all your custom chip needs, chiptalk.net

If they ask, tell 'em dawnsboy sent ya.

Bounty Poker League

2005-09-06T21:02:00.000-04:00

Going to be hosting one of 4 weekly events in the Guelph bounty poker league, organized by Punkymisha of www.pokerforum.ca

sign up and play, could be a good time.

http://www.pokerforum.ca/forum/index.php?topic=5753.0

just finished

2005-08-18T00:27:00.000-04:00

just finished playing a one dollar tournament.... out of 2500 people i came in 77th place winning 5 bucks and change.

Also played another one dollar tourney there were 199 people entered and i came in 15th. i won 2 dollars in that one.

kinda silly to start playing at 7:40 pm and finishing around 12:30 and i'm only up 5 bucks. but it was a lot of fun i am learning alot and maybe soon i can tackle larger buy-ins and win my way into a lot of money.... well that's it for now i'm off to bed.

oh wait before i go i will tell you how i finished the tourney...
delt pocket 5's bb. flop was 2 4 7 or something like it one other person in the pot pushed me all in... we were pretty close to even in chips really wanted to double up or go to bed. figured he was on a draw called. had pocket queens. oh well i'm out.
this is the first time i wasn't too upset with the way i played a tourney. didn't make verry many mistakes or pay people off on there hands and out of 2500 making it to 77th place ain't too shabby in my books.

now i'm really off to bed gotta get up early and go to work.

At Garrish's House

2005-08-12T08:41:00.000-04:00

I made an error with this post, and unintentionally offended some people, and I am deeply sorry.

What really happened was I made a dumb move in the first tournament by going into an all-in situation where I knew I was behind, but thought I could catch up, I was wrong. But how was I supposed to know that the other 2 queen were in someones hand already? Ya win some, I lost that one.

Then, lucky for me, I caught every card I was looking for, and ended up winning (as opposed to my usual not winning) for the night.

From my point of view, as a non-drinker, a couple guys had a few too many. But then, from a normal person point of view, I swear too much and don't drink nearly enough. I wrote things the way I saw it, immediately after the fact, and I have come to realize that is a bad idea, from now on I will think before I type, and I hope that we can put this behind us and still lose money to each other.

Again, sorry if I offended anyone, I didn't really think anyone looked at this page anyway, seeing as how I never get comments.

And when you say "put some real money down", how much are we talking about. Of course, it wouldn't really be a fair match anyway, because you (Don) make like twice(at least) what I do, and I would be more scared to lose a substantial sum of money than you. And when you are scared to lose, that is invariably what comes about.

Back from Niagara Falls Casinos

2005-07-11T19:13:00.000-04:00

So I'm back,and I didn't end up playing at Fallsview, because the limits were too high for the amount of money I brought with me. They had 5/5 NL, and various limits from 5/10 to 20/40 I think 7 tables in all. After the concert I went to Casino Niagara(there is a shuttle that runs between the two and chips are good from one casino to the other) and got into a 2/4 limit game (they also had 1/2 NL and 3/6 limit, 10 tables in all). I started plainest around 12:30 AM and stood up to take my tired wife home at 2:00AM, up $31. Not too bad for an hour and a half. Up 15.5 BB. I tipped the dealers(they split the tips) $3 total, I think I won 4 pots outright(there were a few chop chops).

The biggest hand went like this:
I was in the CO with 77, 3 limped in front of me, I raised, and got calls from the blinds and limpers. (pot=12 BB)

Flop Q7Q

3 checks, I bet, SB raised, 4 folds, I reraised, SB 3 bets, I cap, SB calls (pot=20 BB)

Turn K

Scared of QK I check, SB bets, I call (pot=24 BB)

River 10

I check again, SB bets, I raise, seeing he only had $1 left, he called and flipped AQ like he had the nuts.(pot=29 BB) He says I got the Queen with the ace, and make to drag the pot. I just tell the dealer(who had made a few mistakes, "full house" and the other guy just stares at my 77 like they were going to attack him. So as I'm dragging the pot, he throws the dealer another $60 which he proceeded to lose.

There was only one player in the game that had me nervous, but I didn't play against him, as we were the only ones to fold a lot. There was a kid that looked like he had just turned 19 that day, and was up and down the whole time I was there, and another guy who was there for the first time, who lost and left before me. One old lady there that all the others folded to her raises, so I took a hint and got out of pots she decided to play.

All in all, a very soft game, and quite an enjoyable first time playing poker in a casino. I'll be going back sometime soon, with more time to play.

Oh, and between poker craps and slots, my wife and I came with $200 and left with $185. Now if I had only played poker the whole time......

Next Pokerblog Tourney

2005-07-08T17:49:00.000-04:00

And I quote, directly from the pages of the pokerblog:

Due to popular demand (or Miles's demand), we have finally scheduled our sixth tournament. Here's the info:

Pokerblawg #6
Where: PokerStars
When: Sunday, July 10 at 8:00pm central time
Game: NL Hold'em
Buyin: $10+1
Password: gopher

Be sure to spread the word.

Goin' to Niagara Fallsview Saturday

2005-07-08T08:47:00.000-04:00

Headed down to Niagara Falls on Saturday for the Nashville Star 3 concert. My wife bought me tickets for my birthday(July 6), and I am excited. We are going to leave a few hours early so we can play some cards before the show, and my mom is taking the kids overnight, so epending on the before show winnings/losses we will probably play after too. I have heard that the poker room at Fallsview is quite small though, so we might go to Casino Niagara first, because it has a way bigger room, which means more table to choose from. I am looking for a table where people see lots of flops and is weak after the flop, I think. I tend to play more aggressivly post flop so people tht pay for the flop and then fold when they miss is what I want, right? I suppose that is what every poker player wants at a table they sit at though, eh?

I will be sure to post a report on Sunday, good or bad.

Oh, and I promised Pokertracker stats, I lost all my money, and if you pokerbloggers tell me what numbers you want, I will post them for your ridiculing pleasure.

Poker Stars is Bull

2005-06-17T14:48:00.000-04:00

I played a sit and go at pokerstars.com today. I was 2nd chip leader at the table. I was holding pocket 8's. The fop come J, 2, 2 so I check player B checks, player C bets 300. I call, player B folds. turn is an 8. I have almost the nuts only thing that can beat me is pocket 2's. I bet big he raises i raise all in. He calls. He's holding A 2. I have him... river none other than a 2. He has one fucking out and he hit's it. now i realize that that happens. It happens in real life. But i've never seen it happen chances are like one and a billion that he would've hit that card. thing i don't get he raised the pot pre-flop. A pre-flop raise with A 2 ? This is a hand that pro's don't play half the time. It's a load of bull. Good news is from my 375 that i had left i doubled up off the guy twice before he got nocked out by the chip leader. Bad news I placed 3rd bottom of the money. Stupid the one guy left only had 500 in chips. should've let him get blinded off before i made a move...oh well at least i placed.

Mark This Day

2005-06-16T20:37:00.000-04:00

Today I begin an epic adventure. I have decided to play strictly .50/1.00 holdem, 6 handed. I will be tracking my progress with pokertracker, and will update everyday on my progress. The time is 8;40 pm EST. Prepare for the experience of a lifetime!

edit: I hope you pokerblog guys can help me with this, I have no idea what these numbers mean. They aren't suited or anything. WTF?

Need some records, how about 1300+ of them?

2005-05-24T09:20:00.000-04:00

Follow this link to see a "huge lot of records", especially for the nostalgia fan.

And the winning bid is......$710 US. Nice.

Maybe this will be easier.

2005-05-12T11:30:00.000-04:00

I have a forum now, where it will be easier for all the guelphites who read this page, to go to the other page and read it too.

Difference is that on the other page they can post their own games, sign up for my game, and do all the other forumy type stuff.

Pokerbloggers, please look it up and see how many things need improvement. Just give me a ball park number, and point out the more important ones.

Let's Play Some Fuckin' Cards

2005-05-10T16:26:00.000-04:00

I want to get a regular game going.
I was thinking either .50/1.00 SHOE, or a $1/$2 hold'em game
If you are interested, email me at super_metal_boy(AT)yahoo.com, and when I get enough interest I will let you know.
I was hoping for a Saturday after lunch thing, and kids are more than welcome.
If Saturday is a real crappy day, then Friday nights ought to work out as well.
It will be BYOshit, the only thing I have is a table and chips.
If there is enough interest, I'd like to get a bi-weekly tournament started, and we can award leader points, take a little from each week, and then have a freeroll at the end of the year for people with a certain amount of points.
The comments section is there for comments, so if there are any suggestions, let me know.
By the way, there is no rake taken at my games, that's illegal.
And please don't tip me, The chips I use were free, and so were all the materials for the table I built.(dripping with sarcasm)

My tournaments, rules below this post.

2005-05-06T09:40:00.000-04:00

Just so it is very clear, all money that people buy in for will go into the prize pool, and the house will not take an entry fee, or take any money out of the prize pool for PROFIT.

Tournament Rules.

2005-05-06T09:27:00.000-04:00

These are my tournament rules for a No-Limit holdem rebuy event.
If you are just looking for the sake of looking, feel free to copy for your own game.
If you are looking because you want to play in an event I plan to hold, kudos to you for being prepared. By the way, if you have any problems with these rules and wish to change something, please email me at gofuckyourself@lickmychota.com
Suggestions are welcome.

I credit most of my info for this set to Bob Caiffone.
Thanks also to Quads from BYOC poker

GENERAL RULES FOR NO-LIMIT HOLD-EM TOURNAMENT

1. Show up to play serious poker.
2. Don't act like a dope, jackass, rookie, or Sally. If you truly are a dope, jackass, rookie or Sally, then it's not acting, is it?
3. Please remember poker etiquette.
4. Verbally announce your raise or bet.
5. The one chip rule will be enforced for all games. (see Full Rules: Betting and Raising)
6. String betting will get a warning, then a slap on the wrist with name calling, following offences will be "donations to the pot". Continued offences, you will be asked to leave with no refund.
7. If you drink, please, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES get looped and then get behind the wheel of a car. I will call you a cab.
8. All fist fights will be conducted outside, after, and only after, all bets have been placed.
9. There is no rabbit hunting at this tournament. PERIOD.
10. When you fold, muck your cards to the dealer. There is no holding your cards to show your buddies, or to see what you would have had.
11. Take your time when needed, but please don't "Hollywood" every hand. 7 2 off suit does not require a 5 minute think tank session.
12. Please don't splash the pot. Blinds posted and calls, bets, and raises remain in front of a player, forward of their stack, but not in the middle of the table, until all other players have matched the bet or folded. The purpose of this is to easily determine how much you have put in, and how much more you must put in to call a raise.
13. If you show one player your hand prior to folding, you show ALL players your hand. If you show you hand to ANY OTHER PERSON IN THE ROOM while there is still live action on the hand, you will receive a 10 minute penalty. Repeated offences will result in exponential penalties (20 minutes, 40 minutes). 4 strikes and you are out, no refund.
14. In a showdown, a player must show all downcards face up on the table to win any part of the pot.
15. Please don't verbally speculate on another players hand when there is action on the table. One player to a hand.
16. If your hand is called, and not raised, the person calling your hand has the OPTION to see your hand if you fold to their call.
17. This is a straight up game. If you are caught cheating or colluding with another player, you will be escorted of the premises by every honest player in the game. Could get ugly. Management assumes no responsibility for medical bills or compensation for lost time from work.
18. If you suspect another player(s) of cheating/colluding, please bring it up to me away from the table privately, especially if I don't know how you fight(see rule #8).
19. I will be responsible for the direction and rulings in the main event only. Feel free to bring your own chips and cards and have side games(cash or mini-tourney, but NO RAKE), but all discrepancies are to be dealt with between the participants(see rule#8). Feel free, also, to use my rules for your games.
20.I use tournament management software called "The Tournament Director". It automatically assigns seats and reassigns seats to balance tables. Any argument with seat assigning/reassigning can be taken up with any one of the four walls around you. I will be more than happy to assist you with moving your chips, as you will be out of breath from arguing with the wall.
21. All discrepancies that cannot be resolved with your dealer will be dealt with by the director of the tournament. The directors decision is final.
22. Should a player have to leave, or just give up, his/her chips will remain in their seat, and blinds posted in turn. You can't give your stack to another player. At the directors discression you may have a player not involved in the tournament take over for you, but ask first.
23. Poker, like any organized sport or game, has to have rules. These here is the rules. If you don't like the rules, you must A) find some friends that play poker without rules B) get some cards and chips, and C) go somewhere else.

SURE FIRE WAYS TO NEVER BE ALLOWED TO PLAY IN MY TOURNAMENTS AGAIN

1. Throw chips at people.
2. Bitch excessively about the game play.
3. Ask to change the rules
4. Hollywood every hand.
5. Verbally analyze every out you have before you fold.
6. Spill food or drink on the table, cards, or chips(grab a chair to put your crap on).
7. Badger someone into a political conversation, then complain about getting bitch-slapped.
8. Slowroll. If you are the final person to take aggressive action on the river, and have been called, it is your turn to show your hole cards. Every player has the right to muck, but if you plan to show your hand, and it is your turn to do so, do so expediently in the spirit of etiquette, and in the spirit of not wanting to have people think you have no idea how to play the game, and be made fun of for at least one (1) hour. And bitch-slapped.

FULL RULES (taken from Roberts rules of poker, Bob Ciaffone)

Welcome to the tournament. By buying in and taking a seat, you are accepting the management to be the final authority on all matters relating to this game.

Section 1:Proper Behaviour
Conduct Code:
Management will attempt to maintain a pleasant environment for all players, but is not responsible for the conduct of any player. We have established a code of conduct, and may deny play to violators of this code.
The following are NOT permitted:
Collusion with another player or any other form of cheating.
Verbally or physically threatening any patron or tournament staff.
Using excessive profanity or obscene language.
Creating a disturbance by arguing, shouting, or making excessive noise(management's discression).
Throwing, tearing, bending, or crumpling cards.
Destroying or defacing property.
Using an illegal substance.
Carrying a weapon.

Poker Etiquette:
The following actions are improper, and grounds for warning, penalties, or disqualification from the tournament and removal from the premises:
Deliberately acting out of turn.
Deliberately splashing chips into the pot.
Agreeing to check a hand down when a third player is all-in.
Reading a hand for another player at the showdown before the cards have been placed face up on the table.
Telling anyone to turn a hand faceup at the showdown, unless it is your right to do so.
Revealing the contents of a live hand in a multiway pot before betting is complete. Revealing the contents of a folded hand before betting is complete. Do not divulge the contents of a hand during a deal even to someone not in the pot, so you do not leave any possibility of the information being transmitted to an active player.
Needlessly stalling the action of a game.
Deliberately discarding hands away from the muck. Cards should be released in a low line of flight, at a moderate rate of speed (not at the dealers hands, or towards any other cards, besides the wash).
Stacking chips in a manner that interferes with dealing or viewing cards.
Making statements or taking action that could unfairly influence the course of play, whether or not the offender is involved in the pot.
Making a derogatory or racial comment within the premises. Such will not be tolerated and you will be subject to immediate removal without a refund.
Using a cell phone at the table.

Section 2: House Policies
Decision Making:
Management reserves the right to make decisions in the spirit of fairness, even if a strict interpretation of the rules may indicate a different ruling.
Decisions of the tournament director are final.
The proper time to draw attention to an error or irregularity is when it occurs or is first noticed, Any delay may affect the ruling.
If an incorrect rule interpretation or decision is made by staff in good faith, the management assumes no liability.
A ruling may be made regarding a pot if it has been requested before the next deal stands. Otherwise, the results of a deal must stand. The posting of the blind and the first riffle of the shuffle marks the start of the next deal.
If a pot has been incorrectly awarded and mingled with chips that were not in the pot, and the time limit for a ruling request given in the previous rule has been observed, management may determine how much was in the pot by reconstructing the betting, and then transfer that amount to the proper player.
To keep the action moving, it is possible that a game may be asked to continue even though a decision is delayed for a short period. The delay could be needed to investigate the situation, get the director to give the ruling, or some other good reason. In such circumstances, a pot or a portion thereof may be impounded while the decision is pending.
The same action may have a different meaning, depending on who does it, so the possible intent of an offender will be taken into consideration. Some factors here are the person's amount of poker experience and past record.

Procedures:
All games are table stakes (except 'playing behind" as given it the next rule). Only the chips in front of a player at the start of a deal may play for that hand, except for the chips already purchased that the player has not yet received(re-buys). Awareness of the amount in play is an important part of poker. All chips must be kept in plain view.
"Playing behind" is only allowed for the amount of the re-buy while awaiting its arrival. The amount in play must be announced to the table.
Playing out of a rack is not allowed
Only one person may play a hand.
No one is allowed to play another players' chips.
Pushing an ante or posting a blind for another person is not allowed. It is the dealers responsibility to post absent players blinds and antes.
Insurance propositions are not allowed. Dealing twice (or three times) when all in is permitted, if agreed upon by all parties involved.
Players must keep their cards in full view. This means above table level, and not past the edge of the table. The cards should not be covered by the hands in a manner to completely conceal them.
Any player is entitled to a clear view of an opponent's chips. Higher denomination chips should be easily viewable.
A new deck may be requested if the current deck is defective in some way(besides not giving you the cards you want).
Looking through the discards or deck stub is not allowed.
After the deal ends, dealers are asked not to show what card(s) would have been dealt.
A player is expected to pay attention to the game and not hold up play. Activity that interferes with this such as reading at the table is discouraged, and the player will be asked to cease if a problem is caused.
A non-player may not sit at the table.
English is the only language to be spoken at the table during a deal.

General Poker Rules:
Misdeals:
The following circumstances can cause a misdeal, provided attention is called to the error before two players have acted on their hands (if two players have acted in turn, the deal must be played to conclusion)
The first or second card has been dealt face up or exposed due to dealer error.
Two or more cards have been exposed due to the dealer.
Two or more boxed cards are found.
Two or more extra cards have been dealt in the starting hands of a game.
An incorrect number of cards have been dealt to a player, except the top card may be dealt if it goes to the player in the proper sequence.
Any card has been dealt out of the proper sequence (except an exposed card may be replaced by the burncard).
The button was out of position.
The first card was dealt to the wrong person.
Cards have been dealt to an empty seat or a player who was not entitled to a hand.
A player has been dealt out who is entitled to a hand. This player must be present at the table or have posted a blind/ante. Players not at the table will have cards dealt to their position and then immediately folded after dealing is complete.
Once action occurs, a misdeal can no longer be declared. The hand will be played to conclusion, and no chips will be returned to a player whose hand has been fouled. In button games,action is considered to occur when two players after the blinds have acted on their hands.

Dead Hands:
Your Hand is declared dead if:
You fold or announce that you are folding when facing a bet or a raise
You throw your hand away in a forward motion causing another player to act behind you (even if not facing a bet).
The hand does not contain the proper number of cards for that particular game.
You act with a joker as a holecard in a game not using a joker. ( A player who acts on a hand without looking at a card assumes the liability of finding an improper card).
You have the clock on you when facing a bet or raise and exceed the specified time limit.
Cards thrown into the muck may be declared dead. However if a hand is clearly identifiable it may be retrieved at managements discression if doing so is in the best interest of the game. We will make an extra effort to rule a hand retrievable if it was folded as a result of incorrect information given to a player.
Cards thrown into another player's hand are dead, whether they are face up or face down.
Irregularities:
In button games if it is discovered that the button was placed incorrectly on the previous hand, the buttons and blinds will be corrected for the new hand in a manner that gives every player one chance for each position on the round, if possible.
You must protect your own hand at all times. Your cards may be protected with your hands(in a manner so as to not completely cover the cards), a chip, or other object placed on top of them. If you fail to protect your hand, you will have no redress if it becomes fouled, or the dealer accidentally kills it.
If a card with a different coloured back is discovered, all action is void and all chips in the pot are returned to their respective bettors. If a card with a different coloured back is discovered in the stub, all action stands.
If two cards of the same rank and suit are found, all action is void, and all chips in the pot are returned to the players who wagered them (subject to next rule).
A player who knows the deck is defective has an obligation to point this out. If such a player instead tries to win a pot by taking aggressive action, the player may lose the right to a refund, and the chips be required to stay in the pot for the next deal.
If there are extra chips in the pot on a deal as a result of forfeited chips from the previous deal, or some similar reason, only a player dealt in the previous hand is entitled to a hand.
A card discovered face up in the deck (boxed card) will be treated as meaningless, and be replaced by the next card below it in the deck.
A joker that appears in a game where it is not used , if discovered before a player acts on his/her hand will be replaced by the card on the top of the deck. If the player does not call attention to the joker BEFORE acting, his/her hand will be declared dead.
If you play a hand without looking at all the cards, you assume liability of having an irregular card or an improper joker.
One or more cards missing from the deck does not invalidate the results of a hand.
Before the first round of betting, if a dealer deals one additional card, it is returned to the deck and used as the burncard.
To obtain a ruling as to whether on not a card was exposed and should be replaced, a player should announce that the card was flashed or exposed before looking at it. A downcard dealt off the table is an exposed card, no matter which side it lands on.
If a card is exposed due to dealer error, a player does not have an option to take or reject card. The situation will be governed in accordance to the rules above.
If you "accidentally" throw a card off the table you will "accidentally" get a 10 minute penalty.
If the dealer prematurely deals any cards before the betting is complete, those cards will not play, even if a player who has not acted decides to fold.

Betting and Raising:
In a no-limit game unlimited raising is allowed.
Any wager must be at least the size of the previous bet or raise in that round, unless the player goes all-in.
A verbal statement denotes your action and is binding. If in turn your verbally declare fold, check, bet, call or raise, you are forced to take that action.
Rapping the table with your hand is a check.
Deliberately acting out of turn will not be tolerated. A person who checks out of turn may not bet or raise on the next turn to act. An action or verbal declaration out of turn may be ruled binding if there is no bet, call or raise by an intervening player after the infraction has been committed.
To retain the right to act, a player must stop the action by calling "time" (or an equivalent word). Failure to stop the action before three or more players have acted behind you may cause you to loose the right to act. You cannot forfeit your right to act if any player in front of you has not acted, only if you fail to act when it legally becomes your turn. Therefore if you wait for someone's turn who comes before you, and three more players act behind you, this still does not hinder your right to act.
A player who bets or calls by releasing chips into the pot is bound by that action and must make the amount of the wager correct. (This also applies right before the show down when putting chips into the pot causes the opponent to show the winning hand before the full amount needed to call has been put into the pot.) However, if you are truly unaware that the pot has been raised, you may withdraw that money and reconsider your action, provided that no one else has acted after you.
String betting is not allowed. To protect your right to raise, you should either declare your intention verbally or place the proper amount of chips into the pot. Putting a full bet plus a half-bet or more into the pot is considered to be the same as announcing a raise, and the raise must be completed. (this does not apply in the use of a single chip of grater value, unless verbally declared "raise".)
If you put a single chip in the pot that is larger than the bet, you are assumed to have only called. Example: In 100-200 blinds, when a player bets 200 and the next player puts a 500 chip into the pot without saying anything, that player has merely called the $200 bet, and the dealer will make change for the chip from the pot, if possible.
All wagers and calls of an improper size must be brought up to the proper size if the error is discovered before the betting round has been completed. This includes actions such as betting a lower amount of the minimum bring-in (other than a player going all-in) and betting the lower limit than the blinds allow. No one who has acted may change a call to a raise because the improper amount was placed in the pot.

The Showdown:

To win any part of a pot, a player must show all of his cards faceup on the table, whether they were used in the final hand played or not.
Cards speak (cards read for themselves). The dealer may assist in reading hands, but players are responsible for holding onto their cards until the winner is declared. Although verbal declarations as to the contents of a hand are not binding, deliberately miscalling a hand with the intent of causing another player to discard a winning hand is unethical and may result in forfeiture of the pot.
Any player, dealer, or floorperson who sees an incorrect amount of chips put into the pot, or an error about to be made in awarding a pot, has an ethical obligation to point out the error. Please help us keep mistakes of this nature to a minimum.
All losing hands will be killed by the dealer before the pot is awarded.
Any player who has been dealt in may request to see any hand that has been called, even if the opponent's hand or the winning hand has been mucked. However, this is a privilege that may be revoked if abused. If a player other than the pot winner asks to see a hand that has been folded, that hand is dead. If the winning player asks to see a losing player's hand, both are live, and the best hand wins. This rule is subject to circumstance, or in other words, situational. Here are some examples to give you a better idea.
example 1:Two players on the river. Player A bets, player B calls. Player B has a right to see player A's holecards before player B shows their hand.
example 2:Three players on the river. Player A checks, player B bets, player C calls, as does player A. Player B is the first one obligated to show down their hand, followed by player C, then player A. If player B shows down a hand that beats player C, then player C has the right to muck, and player A should not ask to see player C's hole cards if they beat player B.
Every player has the right to muck their hand, and in general the right to muck will take precedence over the right to see. Please don't slowroll, refer to sure fire ways...rule number eight (8).
Show one, show all. Players are entitled to receive equal access to information about the contents of another player's hand. After a deal, if cards are shown to another player, every player at the table has the right to see those cards. During a deal, if cards are shown to an active player who might have a further wagering decision on that betting round must immediately be shown all other players. If the player who saw the cards is not involved in the deal, or cannot use the information in wagering, the information should be withheld until the betting is over, so it does not affect the normal outcome of the deal. Cards shown down to a person who has no more wagering decisions on that betting round, but might use the information on a later betting round, should be shown to the other players at the conclusion of that betting round. If only a portion of the hand has been shown, there is no requirement to show any of the unseen cards. The shown cards are treated as given in the preceding part of this rule.
If everyone checks (or is all-in) on the final betting round, the player who acted first is the first to show the hand. If there is wagering on the final betting round, the last player to take aggressive action by a bet or a raise is the one to show down the hand. In order to speed up the game, a player holding a probable winner is encouraged to show the hand without delay. If there is a side pot, players involved in the side pot should their hands before anyone who is all-in for only the main pot.

Ties:

An odd chip will be broken down to the smallest unit currently used in the game
If two or more hands tie, an odd chip will be awarded to the first hand clockwise from the button.
All side pots and the main pot will be split as separate pots, not mixed together.

Button and blind use:

In button games, a non-playing dealer normally does the actual dealing. A round disk called the button is used to indicate which player has the dealer position. The player with the button is last to receive cards on the initial deal and has the right of last action after the first betting round. The button moves clockwise after a deal ends to rotate the advantage of last action. One or more blind bets are usually used to stimulate action and initiate play. Blinds are posted before the players are dealt their cards. Blinds are part of a players bet, unless the situation requires part or all of a players blind to be "dead." Dead chips are not part of a player's bet. With two blinds the small blind is posted by the player immediately clockwise from the button, and the big blind is posted by the player immediately left to the small blind. On all subsequent betting rounds, the action begins with the first active player left of the button.

Rules for using blinds:

The minimum bring-in and allowable raise sizes for the opener are specified by the poker form used and blind amounts set for a game. They remain the same even when the player in the blind does not have enough chips to post the full amount.
Each round(orbit of the table) every player must get the opportunity for the button, and meet the total amount of the blind obligations. The following method will be designated to do this: The button always moves forward to the next player and the blinds adjust accordingly. A player who posts a blind has the option of raising the pot at the first turn to act.
In heads-up play the small blind is on the button.
A new player to the table cannot be dealt in between the big blind and the button. Blinds may not be made up between the big blind and the button. You must wait until the button passes.

Hold'em Rules:

These rules deal only with irregularities, see Button and Blind Use for more details on basic rules.

If the first or second holecard dealt is exposed, a misdeal results. The dealer will retrieve the card, reshuffle, and recut the cards. If any other holecard is exposed due to a dealer error, the deal continues. The exposed card may NOT be kept. After completing the hand, the dealer replaces the card with the top card on the deck, and the exposed card is then used for the first burncard. If more than one hole card is exposed, this is a misdeal and there must be a redeal.
If the dealer mistakenly deals the first player an extra card (after all players have received their starting hands), the card will be returned to the deck and then used for the first burncard. If the dealer mistakenly deals more than one extra card, it is a misdeal.
If the flop contains too many cards, it (the flop) must be redealt. This applies even if it were possible to know which card was the extra one.
If the flop needs to be redealt because the cards were prematurely flopped before betting was complete, or the flop contained too many cards, the boardcards are mixed with the remainder of the deck. The burncard remains on the table. After shuffling, the dealer cuts the deck and deals a new flop without burning a card.
If more than one card has been burned before the flop round of betting begins, and any cards have been turned faceup,the flop is invalid if the error is discovered before the betting has started. The flop shall be redealt as per the previous rule. If the error has been discovered without the identity of any flop-cards being divulged, the proper flop shall be used. If betting has started before attention is called to the error, the flop actually dealt must be used.
If the dealer turns the fourth card on the board before the betting round is complete, the card is taken out of play for the round, even if subsequent player elect to fold. Nobody has the option of accepting or rejecting the card. The betting is then completed. The error is rectified in a manner to least influence the identity of the boardcards that would have been used without the error. The dealer burns and deals what would have been the fifth street (river) card in the fourth cards place. After this round of betting, the dealer reshuffles the deck, including the card that was taken out of play, but not including the burncards or discards. The dealer then cuts the deck and deals the fifth and final card without burning a card. If the fifth card is turned up prematurely, the deck is reshuffled and dealt in the same manner.
If more than one card has been burned, the error shall be rectified if the mistake is discovered before the betting starts. If the error is not discovered before the betting starts, the card actually dealt must be used.
You must declare that you are playing the board before you throw your cards away; otherwise you relinquish all claims to the pot.

No Limit Specific Rules:

The number of raises in any betting round is unlimited.
All bets must be at least equal to the minimum bring in of the current blind round, unless the player is going all in.
All raises must be equal to or greater than the size of the previous bet or raise on that betting round, except for an all-in wager. A player who already acted and is not facing a fullsized wager may not subsequently raise an all-in bet that was not more than the minimum bet (which is not the amount of the minimum bring in) but must raise to at least double the minimum bring in. For example, if the blind are 300 - 600, and player A goes all in for 1100 (blind plus 500), player B may not raise to 1600 (blind plus 500 X 2), but must raise to 1800 (Blind X 3). If there was a bring in bet larger than the blind and a player goes all in for less than the minimum raise, the same rule applies, but with the original bring in bet being used as the base for raising.
At non tournament play, a player who says raise is allowed to continue putting chips in with more than one move; the wager is assume complete when the players hands come to a rest outside the pot area. In tournament play, the TDA rules require that the player either make a verbal statement giving the amount of the raise or put the chips into the pot in a single motion, to avoid making a string bet, which is punishable by name calling and wrist slapping, followed by penalties if it a recurring offence.
A wager is not binding until the chips are actually released into the pot, unless the player has made a verbal statement of action.
If there is a discrepancy between a player's verbal statement and the amount put into the pot, the bet be corrected to the verbal statement.
If a call is short due to a counting error, the error must be corrected, even if the opponent has already shown down a superior hand.
Because the amount of a wager at big-bet poker has such a wide range, a player who has taken action based on a gross misunderstanding of the amount wagered needs some protection. A bettor should not show down a hand until the amount put into the pot for a call seems reasonable correct, or it is obvious that the caller understands the amount wagered. The decision maker is allowed considerable discretion in ruling on this type of situation. A possible rule-of-thumb is to disallow any claim of not understanding the amount wagered if the caller has put eighty percent or more of that amount into the pot.
A bet of a single chip is considered to be the full amount of the chip allowed. However, a player acting on a previous bet with a larger denominational chip is calling the previous bet unless this player makes a verbal declaration to raise the pot.
If a player tries to bet or raise less than the legal minimum and has more chips(not all-in) the wager must be increased to the proper size. (This does not apply to a player who has unintentionally put too much in to call.) The wager is brought up to the sufficient amount only, no greater size.
In all no-limit games, the house has a right to place a maximum time limit for taking action on your hand. The clock may be put on someone by the dealer as directed by the tournament director, if another player requests it. If the clock is put on you when you are facing a bet, you will have one additional minute to action your hand. You will have a ten second warning, after which your hand is dead if you have not acted on it.

Tournament Specific Rules:

By participating in any tournament, you agree to abide by the rules and behave in a courteous manner. A violator may be verbally warned, suspended from play for a specified length of time, or disqualified from the tournament. Chips from a disqualified participant will post a big blind on every turn, to quickly and fairly distribute them to the other players who have abided by the rules.

Whenever possible, all rules are the same as those that apply the live ring games.
Initial seating is determined by The Tournament Director software.
The appropriate starting amount of chips will be placed on the table for each paid entry at the beginning of an event, whether the person is present or not. Absent players will be dealt in, and all chips necessary for blinds and antes will be put into the pot by the dealer.
A starting stack of chips may be placed in a seat to accommodate for late entrants so all antes and blinds have been properly paid if a straggler buys a seat. An unsold seat will have it's chips removed by the end of the first round, and late entry will be closed.
Limits and blinds are raised at regularly scheduled intervals.
If there is a signal designating the end of a betting level, the new limits apply on the next deal. A deal begins with the first riffle of the shuffle.
The lowest denomination of chip in play no longer needed in the blind structure will be removed from the table when it is time for the next break. All lower denomination chips that are of sufficient quantity for a new chip will be changed up directly. The method for removal of odd chips is to deal one card to each player for each odd chip possessed. Card are dealt clockwise starting with the 1-seat, with each player receiving all cards before any cards are dealt to the next player. The player with the highest card by suit (SHDC) gets enough odd chips to exchange for one higher denominational chip. The second highest card gets to exchange for the next chip, and so forth, until all lower denominational chips are exchanged. A player may not be eliminated from the event by the chip-change process. If a player has no chips after the race has been held, he will be given a chip of the higher denomination before anyone else is awarded a chip.. If an odd number of lower-denominational chips are left after this process, the player with the highest remaining will receive a new chip if he/she has half or more of the quantity of lower-denomination chips needed, otherwise nothing, but at the end of the process, all lower denomination ships will be removed from play. This is a rule often argued over, and to make it very clear, any argument with the rule will first be referred to this page, and if there is yet further argument, the player will be disqualified, No exceptions
An absent player is always dealt a hand, and will be put up for blinds and antes, and the folded immediately after the dealing is done.
A player must be in their seat to stop the action by calling time.
As players are eliminated, tables are broken down by the tournament software, with players being reassigned seats at other tables from the broken table.
A seat change is not allowed, you are assigned a seat and any complaining can by taken to the complaints department (non-existent).
If a player has been instructed to move to a seat where they would have to post the small blind, they must wait for the button to pass before being dealt in a hand, with the blinds being posted as if he/she were not there.
A player who declares all-in and loses the pot, then discovers that one or more chips were hidden, is not entitled to benefit from this. The player who eliminated them receives the hidden chips, if they had sufficient chips to cover the hidden ones.
If a player lacks sufficient chips for a blind, the player is entitled to get action on whatever amount of money is left in his/her stack. A player who post a short blind and wins does not need to make up the rest of the blind.
All players must leave their seat immediately after being eliminated from an event.
Showing cards from a live hand during the action injures the right of other players still competing in an event, who wish to see contestants eliminated. A player in a multimedia pot may not show any cards unless the event has only two remaining players, or it is winner take all. If a player deliberately shows a card, the player may be penalized (but his hand will not be ruled dead). Verbally stating one's hand may be penalized.
At no-limit play, the player must either use a verbal statement giving the amount of the raise or put the chips into the pot in a single motion. Otherwise it is a string bet. If you are not yet familiar with what happens to string bettors, you should start over, and re-read this list of rules.
Non-tournament chips are not allowed at the table, except one per person, that is clearly identifiable as a non-tournament chips, for the purpose of protecting your cards.
All tournament chips must remain visible on the table throughout the event. Chips taken off the table or pocketed will be removed from the event, and a player who is caught doing this will be disqualified.
Higher denomination chips must be placed where they are easily visible to other players at the table.
Inappropriate behaviour like throwing cards that go off the table will be punished with a penalty (being dealt out for 10 minutes).(if it is on purpose that the card is thrown off the table, you will get an on purpose penalty, and if you do it accidentally, your penalty will be given accidentally) A severe infraction such as abusive or disruptive behaviour may be punished by eviction from the tournament.
The deck is not changed upon request. Decks change when there is a damaged card.
In all tournament games with a button, the button starts on the first hand in the 1-seat, directly left of the dealer.
If a player who was eliminated was supposed to pay a blind in the next hand, and does not re-buy, it is treated as though they were not there in the hand before. Therefore, the button moves to the next occupied seat and the player directly to the left of the button posts the small blind and the player to the small blind's left posts the big blind. We do not use the "dead button" rule.
In heads up play with two blinds, the small blind is on the button.
All hands will be turned face up when a player is All-in, and no more betting is possible on the hand.
If two or more players go broke during a hand, the player with the larger amount of chips finishes in the higher tournament place for prize money and any other award.
Management is not required to rule on on any private deals, side bets, or redistribution of the prize pool among finalists.
Private agreements by remaining player in an event regarding distribution of the prize pool are the decision of the players remaining in the event. The decision to split the pool any other way the set out by the director must be a unanimous decision among finalists.
Management retains the right to cancel any event, or alter it in a manner fair to the players.

Rebuy Specific Rules:

These rules apply only to rebuy events, and deal only with the rebuy period of the tournament.

If a player loses all their tournament chips within the rebuy period, they may rebuy the same amount of chips for the same price as the original buy in.
If a player announces they wish to rebuy before the start of the next deal, that player is "playing behind" until they get their rebuy chips.
There is no limit on the amount of rebuys a player may take, however, you must not have any chips left to be allowed to rebuy.
If the tournament allows an add on, it will be available to all players at the end of the rebuy period, and will be twice the starting chips for the same price as the original buy-in.

Why Do We Pay The Governement So Much To Suck So Bad?

2005-04-28T13:04:00.000-04:00

I called the AGCO today, and was told that charity poker tournaments are in no way legal. there is no licence attainable, so I am SOL. I say fuck that.
There is a way to do it, and I am going to figure out what it is.
I have a couple ideas, give me your opinions.

1) It is not illegal to have a charity dinner. It is not illegal to play poker with no rake. So, if the tournament was supposed to be a $60 buy in with $20 going to the charity. So now it is a dinner for $20 (sandwiches, or something), and if a poker tournament gets played while we are there, how can I help that?

2) 50/50 draws are not illegal, so everyone buys a $60 50/50 ticket, and I rig it so the tourney winner wins, and he is such a nice guy that he shares with 17 other people. I can't stop him from sharing his money.

3) Make the tournament $40 and have an "optional" donation to the charity of your choice(we accept anything from $19.9999999 to $20.0000000001).

4) Take a chance. Historically, fundraiser tournaments have done well in this city, with no hassle from the authorities.

5) Get someone to donate a substantial sum of money to the charity (estimated rake from tourney) and make "first place" that much, and the real pay outs start at second, on the books, as it were.

Tables comin' out of the woodwork (oh god did I really say that?)

2005-04-25T10:36:00.000-04:00

Found a forum today 'bout building poker tables. Got a couple or good ideas for my next table i build. Gonna raffle it off at the charity aucton. I put a link in the sidebar.

I need to pay Joe for my "touque"

2005-04-20T14:42:00.000-04:00

So I have signed up for the pacific poker affiliate program, so as to make 150 smackers/sucker, i mean person, that signs up for pacific via my ad, and not stars or party so as not to take away from pokerblog's "business" such as it is, or is not, from the reports I'm reading. When I decide to put more money on-line I will do it at Party through pokerblog, and if the pokerbloggers sign up for another site, make it pacific and I will split the profits with joe, because he needs it the most:D

Bad Beats, or Bad Plays

2005-04-20T10:34:00.000-04:00

a couple hands that I can't tell if I played wrong, or got screwed

I don't slowplay very much, and I thought I might try it with this hand, probably what went wrong, but maybe not, at the levels I play at there are very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very loose players
PokerStars Game #1554151864: Tournament #7173967,
Omaha Hi/Lo No Limit - Level I (10/20) - 2005/04/20 - 09:37:26 (ET)
Table '7173967 1' Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: khabby (1940 in chips)
Seat 2: Leaddog85 (1060 in chips)
Seat 3: COLLIN F (1300 in chips)
Seat 4: GreyLady (1720 in chips)
Seat 5: pinkpink (1060 in chips)
Seat 6: angie8686 (2140 in chips)
Seat 7: rsanders2000 (1460 in chips)
Seat 8: Halloween1 (1340 in chips)
Seat 9: dawnsboyrich (1480 in chips)
GreyLady: posts small blind 10
pinkpink: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to dawnsboyrich [Jh Qd 9h Td]
angie8686 said, "ty"
angie8686: folds
rsanders2000: calls 20
Halloween1: calls 20
dawnsboyrich: raises 30 to 50
khabby: folds
Leaddog85: calls 50
COLLIN F: folds
GreyLady: calls 40
pinkpink: calls 30
rsanders2000: calls 30
Halloween1: calls 30
*** FLOP *** [9c Qs Qc]
GreyLady: bets 20
pinkpink: raises 20 to 40
rsanders2000: calls 40
Halloween1: calls 40
dawnsboyrich: calls 40
Leaddog85: folds
GreyLady: calls 20
*** TURN *** [9c Qs Qc] [7h]
GreyLady: checks
pinkpink: bets 180
rsanders2000: folds
Halloween1: folds
dawnsboyrich: calls 180
GreyLady: calls 180
*** RIVER *** [9c Qs Qc 7h] [Ah]
GreyLady: checks
pinkpink: bets 790 and is all-in
dawnsboyrich: calls 790
GreyLady: folds
*** SHOW DOWN ***
pinkpink: shows [Qh Ac 5c Ts] (HI: a full house,
Queens full of Aces)
dawnsboyrich: shows [Jh Qd 9h Td] (HI: a full
house, Queens full of Nines)
pinkpink collected 2620 from pot
No low hand qualified
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 2620 | Rake 0
Board [9c Qs Qc 7h Ah]
Seat 1: khabby folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Leaddog85 folded on the Flop
Seat 3: COLLIN F (button) folded before Flop
(didn't bet)
Seat 4: GreyLady (small blind) folded on the River
Seat 5: pinkpink (big blind) showed [Qh Ac 5c Ts]
and won (2620) with HI: a full house, Queens full of
Aces
Seat 6: angie8686 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: rsanders2000 folded on the Turn
Seat 8: Halloween1 folded on the Turn
Seat 9: dawnsboyrich showed [Jh Qd 9h Td] and lost with
HI: a full house, Queens full of Nines

PokerStars Game #1554198886: Tournament #7174095, Hold'em No Limit -
Level II (15/30) - 2005/04/20 - 10:01:44 (ET)
Table '7174095 1' Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: Smallfryub (1560 in chips)
Seat 2: jackie2000 (2390 in chips)
Seat 3: SexyLeggs (315 in chips)
Seat 4: DVelvet187 (1680 in chips)
Seat 5: one4play (1325 in chips)
Seat 6: c_gid32 (970 in chips)
Seat 7: dochollinite (2020 in chips)
Seat 8: dawnsboyrich (1795 in chips)
Seat 9: probar1 (1445 in chips)
dawnsboyrich: posts small blind 15
probar1: posts big blind 30
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to dawnsboyrich [Kh Jh]
Smallfryub: folds
jackie2000: folds
SexyLeggs: folds
DVelvet187: calls 30
one4play: folds
c_gid32: folds
dochollinite: calls 30
dawnsboyrich: calls 15
probar1: checks
*** FLOP *** [2h 6d 9h]
dawnsboyrich: bets 90
probar1: calls 90
DVelvet187: calls 90
dochollinite: calls 90
*** TURN *** [2h 6d 9h] [8h]
dawnsboyrich: bets 480
probar1: calls 480
DVelvet187: folds
dochollinite: folds
*** RIVER *** [2h 6d 9h 8h] [8c]
dawnsboyrich: bets 1195 and is all-in
probar1: calls 845 and is all-in
*** SHOW DOWN ***
dawnsboyrich: shows [Kh Jh] (a flush, King high)
probar1: shows [9c 8d] (a full house, Eights full of Nines)
probar1 collected 3130 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3130 | Rake 0
Board [2h 6d 9h 8h 8c]
Seat 1: Smallfryub folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: jackie2000 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: SexyLeggs folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: DVelvet187 folded on the Turn
Seat 5: one4play folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: c_gid32 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: dochollinite (button) folded on the Turn
Seat 8: dawnsboyrich (small blind) showed [Kh Jh] and lost with a
flush, King high
Seat 9: probar1 (big blind) showed [9c 8d] and won (3130) with a full
house, Eights full of Nines

so what do you think?

pros at pokerstars

2005-04-15T22:25:00.000-04:00

I found a list of pros playing at
Poker Stars and thought it was pretty
interesting. Here's the list and the
names they use.

Josh Arieh - Razorbax
Art Blanda - nibluck
Dutch Boyd - KidDutch
Layne Flack - reloadthis
Prahlad Friedman - Prefontaine
Pete Giordano - TheBeat
Sam Grizzle - 4KingAceHole
JohnJuanda - LuckBox
Erick Lindgren - EDOGN
Tony Ma - Tigerma
MikeMatusow - MrPokeJoke
Tom McEvoy - Tom McEvoy
Jim Meehan - actiondonkey
Chris Moneymaker - Money800
Daniel Negreanu - doublesuited
Cory Saunders - texdaddy
Mark Seif - MarkDShark
Tim Spake - Slambam2
Phil Hellmuth - #1_Lucky_One
Greg Raymer - Fossilman
Wiliam Chen - wchen
Shawn Rice - WestTexasMan
Joseph Cordi - DeOhGee
Kirill Gerasimov -kirillG
Paul Wolfe - DOUBLEDUCE
Paul Phillips - extempore
Eveyln Ng - Evybabee
Chip Jett - Capnncoke
David Benyamine - magicpitch
Bigglesworth= Thomas Keller
luckysucker= Hans 'Tuna' Lund
Broski or havoc14= Gus Hansen
Scott Fischman - emptyseat88
WestTexasMan - Shawn Rice
easyH-Hoyt Corkins
Paul Darden - D-Rockkk
John Agostino - jdags21
Richard Grijalva - gotmilk
Erik Sagstrom - Erik123

This is too funny! - taken from thepokerforum.com

2005-04-13T15:37:00.000-04:00

I stole this from a guy who kind of compiled this list from a poker forum of funny lines heard at a poker table. A lot of them made me laugh out loud. Enjoy.

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Here's one from my weekly home game. Actually my Brother-In-Law said it, and still swears by it. He called an all-in bet pre-flop with 3 4 ! Naturally, he spiked two 4's, and when questioned about his call he said :

"Small suited connectors - Better than a pair."

That's the weekly line now. I think he got that one from Vince Van PAtten.

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Corollary to the "threes are hot tonight" line, the other night I heard a regular say, after a player picked up, "I'm taking the 1 seat. That seat is HOT!"

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Heard these last weekend in a 3/6/12 game:

"I need to play in a bigger game, people will play any trash at this table"

On the river, "Does a full house beat a flush?"

After losing a showdown, "I knew exactly what you had"

"I've seen almost every flop and still end up losing my a$$!"

"When I play high-cards, I lose. When I play low-cards, I lose. I don't know what else to play anymore!"

"This low-limit $hit (Hold 'Em game) aint poker...it's 2 card bingo! Hey floorman, put me on the 4-8 Omaha!"

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2 friends sitting at the same table..."Hey Joe, you sat down 15 minutes ago, aren't you going to say hello?" Joe says, "Oh, Steve! Hi, how are you? I didn't recognize you...you've got chips in front of you!"

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playing a NL game with friends, i had AA, and after many raises and reraise preflop, we got all in. he had JJ, and spiked his J on the flop. someone asked him how he couldn't put me on Aces, and he replied "well i did for a minute, and thought if he had AA then my JJ is as good as KK and i'm not folding KK."

it still cracks me up thinking about it.

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I make TPTK (top pair top kicker) on an all heart flop, I bet the whole way. As I am dragging the pot, the woman in the 10 seat says, "I only called the whole way because I knew you didn't have the Flush..."

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2-4 Foxwoods game, very loose passive, sitting next to guy I had been talking to for a while and he clearly thinks he is the best player in the game. He open raises UTG gets called in about 27 places (like every raise did in this game), at the end of the hand shows down 10-3o and his hand is way no good, when I asked why he played the hand he said "I was trying to steal the blinds"

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"I hate playing pocket aces, 'cause they never win"

(Heard someone bitching this while I was raising the pot with pocket aces. I won the pot.)

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"I can't believe she beat me with trip deuces."

(What? You'd rather your Ace-crap offsuit be beat by trip kings?)

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"All I got was pocket crap."
or
"If I could figure out how to play 62o, I'd be a millionaire."

(Both me, in response to people being annoyed that I'm folding so many hands pf. Typically, when I utter the second of those two, it's followed by a flop of 662, and a hearty round of laughter over what a crappy player I am for folding my 62o. I very much enjoy what that laughter holds for my future.)

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"When you raised me on the river, I realized you might have something."

(like my flop and turn raises didn't count. I'm glad they didn't.)

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Player 1: "I'm so stuck I have to hit the bad beat just to get even."
Player 2: "At least you have outs."

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my personal favorite

"these players are so bad you just can't beat this game"

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Recent home game, NL tournament. I limp in with QJ. Flop comes QJ7. I check, buddy bets T75. I check raise to T300. He calls.

Turn comes a 9, also putting two clubs on the board. I go all in. He calls. We both had about T1000, so we're basically both all in.

He says "I know you have the straight". Ok, then why'd you call? I table my cards, he sees my top two pair. He has A7s for bottom pair. However, he does have a flush draw, so I can't really argue with him calling, I don't agree that it was a good play, but its not a terrible play. Anyway, the funny thing is , before the dealer flips the river, he says " I have a lot of outs, I need any club (one would have boated me) or a 7.

I say, "or an Ace" at the same time the Ace of Spades falls on the River. And its side game action for me.

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I heard these two this weekend. Both were uttered by different opponents, but both loose passive calling stations nonetheless. They both soon ran out of money (I wonder why??????).

Line 1: 72 is garbage, but if they're suited, you gotta play them! (What a novel idea! Play suited garbage! I'll have to play that from UTG!)

Line 2: Why would you raise with AK?!? AK isnt really a hand! (I almost fell out of my chair on this one!)

Ahh, some of the wonderful things you hear at the low limit tables!

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Here's one I heard once during my 4-8 limit days:

"7's are on FIRE!!"

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Sounds a lot like the games at the Isle...

I flop a flush holding K Q . Lady bets, I call. Lady bets the turn, I raise, she reraises, I call. Lady bets the river, I call....She turns over two pair (caught on the turn). When I show my K-High flush, she says "well, it's good to know he'll raise without having the nuts!" !!!

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From last night's lodge tourney. Guy who limped 4/5 hands and raised the others. "You can't win if you don't see the flop."

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Heh. Someone in a pokerstars .02/.04 game chat accused me of having the site rigged when my AQ outkicked his A3o.

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Funny article from Daniel Negreanu... Here is a exerpt from an old article...

When charity casinos were first legalized, it was poker heaven. They played 11-handed limit hold’em, and I can honestly say that in my first three sessions of play at Lucky Star (one of the charity casinos), I was the only player who ever folded before the flop. One of the geniuses in the game even laughed at me when I folded, saying, “How can you fold now when you don’t even know what cards are coming on the flop?” This guy played at Lucky Star for six months straight, on a daily basis. It’s funny, though, I haven’t seen him since.

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My alltime favorite is something I overheard from the table behind us:

"So I raise before the flop, and he calls, the flop comes duece, rag, rag...."

I had chocolate milk thru the nose on that one.

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A couple of my favorites:
"dammit my dog wouldnt even take a crap on those cards" (from a tight player whod just had his pocket aces beaten by some crap 2pair)
and
"there's no such thing as bad cards, just bad flops" (I think I heard this one on another 2+2 thread)

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At our weekly home game, NL $10 buyin 0.25/0.5 blinds, "WPT style"

The first hand of the night there's a couple of calls and one guy raises to about $4.00. Everyone folds and he flips over 22.

The very next hand there are a couple of calls and one guy raises to $2, gets one caller and I reraise all-in $10 with AA. Everyone folds except the guy to my immediate right who calls. I flip over AA and he says "Damn I thought you were bluffing" and shows 45s.

what did he think I had? 23o?

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One of our local players has a good bit of style. He can be a bit out of line but he's fun to have around.

Anyway he picks up a huge pot with 72s. Now a guy with pocket kings who flopped a set but never bothered to raise preflop just lays into him. Well Barry turns on him.

"What are you talking about I always play 2 suited from the big blind for no raise, and you played like crap. And you can read all about it in my new book 'Sucking out from you'".

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I loved it when he always accused someone of slowplaying a hand when that person raised or bet the river. In his words: "slowplaying just isn't a part of poker." Of course, he hits his K7 2 pair on one hand and proceeds to check-call the flop, then check-raise the turn. Was that slowplaying? "No, I could have been beaten. You can only slowplay the nuts." Huh?

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Lucky Chances / Bay 101

Two Chinese guys do battle on the river.

One says, "I have nothing."

The next turns over an A with a better kicker, exclaiming, "My nothing better than your nothing!"

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I learned the following from a poker buddy of mine, who stated this happened during his recent .25/.5 NL homegame I was unable to attend:

There were two drunk, terrible, loosey-goosey new guys who were there to have a good time, and each must have reloaded numerous times for the $25 max buy-in/reload amount. On one hand, one of the regulars pushes all-in with a decent size stack on the river. One of the drunks looks at the board, pushes his chips in, and blurts out "I call; I have crap!" Even my eleven year old daughter chuckled at that one.
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Not sure this qualifies as "funny", but it's certainly
the worst advice I ever got.

First time playing live, i open raise with 99 in late position and win when i spike a set on the river (BB had
flopped 2-pair)
Old guy next to me says... "You got really lucky. You really shouldn't raise before the flop since you have to hit
the flop to win. I'll raise with aces, but only if i'm winning"

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Home game NLHE $1-$2 blinds. Both players have about $200
New player who has every WPT show memorized, but has only played once. We'll call him(Drunk), hed been drinking a little too much before he got to the game. Anyway, after folding every hand preflop about 10 times, he wakes up with an EP raise to about 6 bucks. Only the co calls. Flop: A A K
Drunk bets out 10bucks, co raises to 20, drunk says "I'm all in" while flipping over his cards. He happened to have A K . co, says "whew, thank goodness" while folding K K face up.

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Gosh, almost forgot this one.

Idiot next to me has A3o (with Ace )
I have AQ.

The board is ultimately Q J x T, x. I bet out on river and he flashes his hand before folding.

He then says "You were lucky the last card wasn't a diamond. Or a King."

Okay... So *I'm* lucky the best hand held up? Okay....

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I play a home game tourney every weekend with a bunch of friends. None of them are very good, but there's one who's particularly bad. His quote after another kid went on a hot streak.

"That's the thing about Dave. When he bets, he's either got something, or he's bluffing."

Yeah, couldn't be doing option #3...

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First time I ever played poker in a casino, I'm talking to the guy next to me and I tell him I would have hit trips on the river with my 4-4 had I not folded. He tells me you should "NEVER fold a pair." I say, "what do you mean?" He said no matter whats on the board "you should always call the whole way with any pair because if you get 3 of a kind you'll win." Greatest advice I ever heard.

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My friend heard this at the Bellagio last night from a player who was getting up to leave:

"I watch this game on the Travel Channel...I just lost $270..."

"Don't watch the Travel Channel"

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This just happened Saturday. Older guy Jerry sits down at the table as we are starting a new game. He is a big time regular at Lucky Chances. This morning he's wearing a Scoutmaster's cap. Mike the dealer looks over at him and comments on the hat. Jerry replies he didn't even know what the " logo " stood for, his son just gave it to him recently , your the fourth person to tell me this and so on...

Player to my right:

" Oh, I thought you were working on your gambling merit badge "

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Last time I was at the Woods, playing with a maniac. He folds in CO for one bet and I ask him, "What, you didn't get enough cards?"

The other one I always liked (for bad beat whiners, might be of 2+2 origin) was, "Dealer, will you please push my girlfriend the 2nd place pot?"

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Some favorites...

"You folded a king? A king!? You have to at least see the flop!" (After I accidently exposed by K7o while tossing into the muck.)

"Ehh, this hand is crap." (As he tosses into the muck pre-flop, after playing 83o to the river the previous hand.)

"Want to know how to make a ton of money? Just sit on the racebook all day and bet the #4 horse." (The #4 horse went on to win the next 3 consecutive races.)

"I just like to see big pots." (Justification for raising pre-flop every hand.)

"I had to call, I had jacks." (Justification for calling to river with pocket jacks, despite raises from other players with A and K on board.)

"Only crap wins at this table."

"You're raising before the flop? Before the flop? You haven't even seen the flop yet, and you're raising? What could you possibly have that you would raise without having even seen the flop!?" (During a home tournament.)

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And my all-time favorite saying in poker - when someone complains about a bad beat:

"This is called Poker. You wanna sure thing, go find your mother."

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A guy who called his whole stack after FOUR players were already all-in preflop. Board ends up having two fives, and he drags down the huge pot with 2-5 of diamonds:

"I figured everyone else had all the good cards, so my cards were going to flop."

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1-2 Uconn game I absolutley destroy.
Player 1-"Why did you call on the turn and not call a river bet"
Me- "You really want to know.
Player 1- "Yeah"
Me- "I didn't make my hand."
Player 1- "Then why did you call on the turn."
Me- "For implied odds because my hand was hidden"
Now im confused. Is he really dumb or what.
Player 1- "Oh stop with that Bull$hit, Just shutup and play the game right."
Me- "Sorry, my fault."
After i said that the whole table burst out into tears they were laughing so hard.

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I heard this on Saturday night. 4 ways on the river, checked around to the drunk button who says, "How much can I bet?" Various people at the table reply with some form of it's 5/10 limit, $10. He says, "How much? I bet the pot," and is reminded it's a limit game. He says, "Crap. I was told this is pot limit. You can't bluff anyone in limit. I check."

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Guy #1 - "Do you play a lot of poker."
Guy #2 - "Yeah, I play in a lot of home games."
Guy #1 - "Hold 'em?"
Guy #2 - "Nah, dealers choice."
Guy #1 - "What's your favorite game?"
Guy #2 - "Fours and Whores."
Guy #1 - "How do you play that?"
Guy #2 - "Uh, it's like stud, with special rules. There are a bunch of wild cards, but I can't remember which ones."

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Reminds me of one I heard the other day...

A player asks how do you win the bad beat jackpot?

Someone pipes up and says: By not raising preflop!

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An actual conversation with a friend of mine who claims to be a good poker player.

Him: I'm so mad, I lost so much money last night.
Me: Bummer.
Him: Get this, I had AA in the BB and I lost.
Me: Did you raise them, how many people in the pot?
Him: No, they all stayed in. They stay in with anything.
Me: Um...
Him: Anyways, the board showed J5373. The guy went all-in. I had to call him. He showed J3. If the river card had been ANY OTHER card then the 3, I would have won. I always get beat on the river.
Me: .....

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I'm playing 3-6 at a festival, 7 card stud ( no hold 'em). Go to the river, I have a pair of kings on board. One guy keeps "me honest". I don't flip over my hole cards, I just say "Beat the Kings".

The guy responds,," uhh crap, I can't beat KINGS!!"

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Another one I heard last night from my great poker friend.

River brings the third 7 on the board. Player A bets some amount, Player B just calls him (we're playing NL). Player A flips up JJ for full house, Player B shows K7 for quads. The table is incredulous.

"Why the hell didn't you raise him?"
"I thought he might fold"

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online about a year ago, Im in a pot against 2 fish. I have J10 suited, and have flopped an open ended str8 draw, and the board also has a flush draw (different suit than mine). Fish min. bets, I call other fish folds. turn is junk, same thing..min. bet, call. river misses me, but hits the flush (that Im not chassing). fish min bets, I bluff the flush for a pot size bet...fish thinks, and thinks..then calls (UGH). Pot comes my way??? He shows like 85 (no pair, 8 high). He then types in "I knew you were bluffing".

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Last weekend B&M 3-6:
The board is 5 clubs
Down to three, first guy bets (with a club), second guy calls (with a club), button calls, and proudly declares, "Three of a kind."

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my future sister-in-law once called my wife to showdown with Q-high. this was her 2nd time playing. my brother asked why she called down. her reply..."i was bluffing".

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After a fair amount of raising and re-raising throughout.

"Jack High"
"What's your kicker"
"8"
"It's good."

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Last time I played live, I heard two guys discussing how 5-10 was an awesome hand because it made every possible straight.

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First round of a tourney. $100 in chips and blinds are only 1-2. I raise as the first one in to $8 with AK. Folded to the big blind who calls with 34o. Flop is A25 and he takes about a quarter of my stack by the end of the hand.

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Me: "Joe, why the hell did you call with that?"
Joe: "I don't like it when people just win the blinds."

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Two guys at my table the other night, are verbally abusing each other all night long. On this one particular hand, one of the guys is in the BB and the other guy is in SB, anyways, the guy in the small blind pushes all in on the guy in the BB, he has the guy covered though. So the guy in the BB goes "Im going to call, but I dont have that much, perhaps you would consider deez nuts as payment" The BB then proceeds to push the chips he has left into the pot, stands up, and rests his nuts on the table railing, all while flipping over quads and laughing like a little school girl.

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Lively 10-20 game last week. Player one takes a good pot with AK, suited, pair of kings wins. Player two, on his fifth $200 re-buy in an hour shows K-2 off suit and says "I never win with that hand, but it's one of my favorites."

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in a NL HE tourney, I go all in w/ a short stack w/ As 9s from the button, the SB w/ a huge stack calls quickly, BB folds.
I turn over my A9s, and he turns over 3h 6h and says this gem:
"damn, you're suited too?"

Next pokerblog tourney

2005-04-09T19:59:00.000-04:00

Pot Limit Hold-em Tuesday at 9 PM on pokerstars. Only costs $19 to play, and it's a great tourney to go in, becausethese guys know how to play, and won't draw against you for the wrong price. Try it out, I won't be there(working overtime), but if you play the right way, you'll have a good chance.
Go to pokerstars and click on "tourney" "private", then double click on pokerblog #4.
If you want to learn more about the guys who will be playing against check out the pokerblog

I need your opinions on......

2005-04-08T21:24:00.000-04:00

I am going to be hosting/directing/organizing a chairty tournament for Kids Can Play association of Guelph coming up in september. There is probably going to be about 200 people there, and i figure on needing about 10,000 chips. I don't want to pay retail, anyone have a suggestion on where I can get them? ebay has some good deals but the shipping kills. Where else can I go?

my E-mail Address

2005-04-08T13:45:00.000-04:00

if you want to e-mail me, my address is in my profile, it says super_metal_boynospam@yahoo.com just take the "nospam" out when you want to send me something

If you enjoy discussing poker strategy

2005-04-08T12:49:00.000-04:00

There is a good website to do it at. try www.pokerplaying.blogspot.com, there is always something interesting going on there, and some good strategy, if you can understand some of it.
They also have a tourney every week on pokerstars and it is generally good poker,because these guys actually know how to play, and don't draw to the runner runner flushes and inside straights that everyone hates losing to. It's 10 bucks, so check it out, you'll need a pokerstars account, but it's worth it to get a pokerstars account anyway. The info about the tourney is on their site. If you don't have a pokerstars account, but are going to get one, go to the pokerblog site, and follow their links, they are trying to raise some money so they can get a real website, and pokerstars pays them to recruit people, or something

HERE'S WHERE WE CAN FIND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHERS GAMES!!!!

2005-04-08T12:38:00.000-04:00

I Created this site so that we can let each other know about tourneys, home games, and just discuss poker in general. if anyone has comments, click on "comments" at the bottom, and it will let you post a comment. Have fun, and aces up!